Natural EP – Yo-Yo / BNE

Hang on a second… a release only on vinyl? In 2004? Hmm. This is confusing. Props to BNE for releasing on this format, because finally vinyl DJs will have something new to play other than (a) anything on tip, (b) anything old, or (c) anything old on tip. It’s puzzling though, in a year that’s seen an absolute drought of twelve-inch releases, that this should come out. I mean, what are you supposed to mix this WITH? Then, as Natural reaches its break and then drops, a three-word answer presents itself. Fucking. Crossover. Potential. Am I right? A short-lived (five and half minutes) uber-predictable melody-centric bob-up-and-downer with all the grace and excitement of a box of chicken mcnuggets. Afterlife starts out more suitable for a psychedelic dancefloor, until it gets stuck in this tiesto-groove that fades away, before coming back in the guise of a big melody: pill trance. Up down up down up – oops whats going to happen next?! Up or down!? Wow!! I don’t know, but meet me in the bar later and tell me how it ends. The Edge works better, at a slower (clubbier) BPM there’s more room for Fatali’s quality production to breathe. But by this time you feel sullied, soiled, like a used condom in a playground on a Sunday morning. The Edge goes quiet then picks up a melody only a mother could love, which moves up and down a few times before disappearing in a poof of splurge that’s not unreminiscent of premature ejaculation. This is, basically, a crossover record. One for the Jon 00 Whatsisnames, the crowds of people buying the fluoro shit that three ex-gatecrasher university dropouts sell over the internet and at stalls in Camden market. I accept that this is what the greater percentage of the clubbing populace may be calling ‘psytrance’ – but if so, can someone please hurry up and come up with a new name for the good shit, that isn’t pointless ecstasy raving that’s about as wholesome as chopping up and snorting a segment of Terry’s chocolate orange.